When mothers look at their daughters, they see youth, they see beauty and so a normal mother would want to nurture that and help that flourish and grow. But a narcissistic mother is jealous and will actively try to destroy her daughter’s self-esteem, even competing with her. Narcissistic mothers especially are in competition with their kids the Cowboys for keeping america great shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this minute the child is born. If someone pays more attention to the child than her, she will resent the child. Narcissistic fathers may become extremely jealous when the children are growing up and start seeking independence. When their son or daughter start romantic relationships, the partner is never good enough for their narcissistic parent. Narcissistic parents protect their ego, and if they feel they are losing control or their ego is hurt, they become cruel, blaming and offensive. A healthy parent controls their children for good, but a narcissistic parent will want to decide everything: your career, who you can date and when you can move out. When you start thinking for yourself and stop asking their validation, they start bullying you. Narcissist parents will do their best to keep their children in a child-like dependent state at all times. They don’t want their children to grow up and gain their independence because that means their children would go off on their own. And they can’t let that happen because how could they fill their supply from their children then? So they will not teach their kids how to cook or the other basic things that you’re supposed to teach your child. In the end, the child will always feel like, I’m dependent on my parents and I can’t make it without them. There is also mental abuse as well because they’ll constantly put their child down while reminding them that they’re helpless. In this state, you will never even try to reach out for help; you’ll always feel like you have to come back to your parents because your self-esteem is low and so shoddy. You feel like the whole world is against you. The truth of the matter is that there are people in the world who would be happy to help you and who would love you more than your parents could, but narcissist parents do not want you to know that, because that means you will leave them and then they have no one to abuse and they lose a source of supply.
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Never expect a narcissist to apologize. They won’t because they don’t feel bad about what they have done. Sometimes they will acknowledge something and then later they’ll tell you that it didn’t happen. If they’re not gaslighting you, they’re probably turning it around to make themselves the Cowboys for keeping america great shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this victim. They will never admit their wrongs. A narcissistic parent can openly call you a fat slob, but some will do it more subtly, like “Oh, are you gonna wear that shirt outside? It’s a little bit small around your waist.” This is underhanded and passive-aggressive but subtle enough to plant small seeds of insecurity in your head. These seeds germinate and push your self-esteem into the ground. As a result, you grow up having no self-love, self-esteem and can’t stop paying attention to that voice in your head that tells you that you’re not worthy or good enough. Another way they will lower your self-esteem is by comparing you to other people. They compare you to other kids, making it seem like they got the short end of the stick by having you Why couldn’t I have a child that acts like that or acts like this? Even if you did the best that you could, it will never be good enough for them because they’ll always find a person to compare you to. They just have to make you feel bad about yourself because, don’t forget, they have a wound within themselves. They have shame within themselves and so to quiet that, they try to throw that shame on you. Narcissistic parents make the black sheep feel like trash, like this person does not matter and is inadequate. They will then put the golden child on a pedestal. But remember they don’t really love the golden child; they just love the image that the golden child represents. They’ll try to pit siblings against each other and since they live for drama, they thrive in situations with potential for high explosive emotional reactions. They’ll sit you down and actually talk about your problems and make it seem like they’re trying to get in your head to help you, but really they’re trying to get an emotional response out of you and make you upset. You will probably leave in tears a conversation that started with just a question. Often they need to call family meetings because they are running low on drama and are searching for an emotional response.